Now I’ve got nothing against modding – I applaud when fans of PC gaming go that extra mile and tweak games that are often already good into something truly fantastic. New characters, new weapons, new locations – there’s almost nothing that modders can’t do given enough time and motivation. I’ve flown the Tardis across the wastelands of Fallout: New Vegas, I’ve driven the Batmobile through Liberty City and played GTA5 as a police officer. Modding is the very reason that I champion the PC as the platform of choice for gamers, and it’s usually the reason I have to re-install my games every few weeks after completely breaking them.

Sometimes however, I do have to draw the line. There are occasions when I’ve had to hold up my hand and say ‘no, you cannot mod that into a game. It’s sick, it’s offensive, and above all else, it’s just wrong.’

The Immersive Toilet Paper mod for Fallout 4 is so utterly abhorrent in every way I was hesitant to include screenshots with this article. Created by jet4571 and Elianora, (who clearly keep their real identities secret out of shame for what they have done) have taken the perfectly correct wall-facing toilet rolls of Fallout 4 and for some reason replaced them with the completely incorrect and dare I say it insultingly offensive front-hanging counterparts. 

I am deadly serious. With no fear of the consequences, these fools have completely inverted the true order of nature with their blasphemous forward-hanging lavatorial cleanse-papers that no sane individual can look upon without going completely mad.

H.P Lovecraft wrote entire tales around individuals who were exposed to similar terrors. These modders have however just put them onto the internet with absolutely no thought for their actions. How this sick joke found its way onto Nexusmods I have no idea. Does no-one moderate that site for filth? I have children for goodness sake – what would happen if one them walked into the room while I was running this mod? How am I supposed to sit my five year old son down and explain that ‘yes, I know it looks weird and wrong to you, but some people just make bad choices in life.’ What if my wife saw it?

If anyone needs me, I’ll be writing an angry letter to my Parliamentary representative.