Inevitably, my children have started badgering me for a PlayStation 5. Of course they have – the Youtubers they’re obsessed with won’t shut up about how great they are, they’re constantly appearing on adverts for great looking games and it’s been roughly a week since the kids have asked me for anything expensive.

I’ve tried telling them, time and time again. Look, you’ve already got a PlayStation 5. Over there is the PlayStation One, and over there’s the PlayStation Four. That makes five PlayStations.

Because I’m a dad, and that’s how dads are.

This week, due to a forced reinstallation of Unity I found myself in the position of needing a quick game of something that wouldn’t tax my system while it was busy pushing a coloured bar very slowly across the screen. Suspicious Developments’ Heat Signature is my general go-to for this situation, due in part to its respect for the player’s time.

Despite being a space game set across vast distances, Heat Signature provides a ‘fast forward’ button, that does exactly that. It doesn’t fast travel, it doesn’t time skip, it just literally makes the game run significantly faster, allowing you to dash between space stations and star ships in seconds rather than minutes or hours. For a parent-gamer like myself who often has to squeeze gaming sessions into brief sprints rather than slow marathons, it’s an absolute wonder.

The other reason I keep playing Heat Signature is the Concussion Hammer. It’s long, it’s heavy and when you hit people with it it clangs with a satisfying noise before hurling them a great distance.

It’s also non-fatal, because I’m not a monster.