You know a game is bad when the listed developers don’t even feature the game on their website.
You know a game is bad when the listed publishers don’t even feature the game on their website.
You know a game is bad when Uwe Boll is behind it.
You know a game is bad when it doesn’t have its own website.

Enough of that perhaps, oh wait I’ve got another one!

You know a game is bad when there is no option to use your mouse on the main menu.

Ok, I hope everyone has got the idea already, this is an awful, awful game. I can’t think of one saving grace for this abomination. It looks dated especially in the tunnels and during the night levels, it plays badly and it is very buggy. Take this one instance, I came across a floor trap in one of the mindless tunnels in the game, I pressed the use key which is meant to disarm the trap. I walked over the trap which now looked like a disarmed trap. I fell to my insta-death. I tried again, and died, again and I died. It was only when I looked at the trap at the right angle so that the message ‘Press Use to Disarm Trap’ appeared that I was able to disarm the trap properly.

Lets go back a bit, Tunnel Rats is a Vietnam based FPS with some kind of involvement with Uwe Boll. You are part of a group of US soldiers flying over ‘nam in a chopper. You start off the game with a sombre intro, your character tries to set the scene talking about drugs, jungle and hookers. Soon enough your chopper has been shot down, you wake up in a pit with all your budies dead. From here on you progress through eight chapters which comprise of tunnels, little villages and jungle areas. You pick up various weapons here and there, a knife, some rifles and grenades are the basic weapons of your trade. They feel bland, there doesn’t seem to be much difference between the US and Vietnam rifles (I assume they are the M16 and AK47, nothing tells you what your weapon actually is) except the clip size. Grenades are useful, but only when they decide to work.

There are AI issues, I have seen enemies appear out of the massive, dull bushes that line the outside sections, I don’t know how they do it, there is no pretence that there is anywhere in the bushes for them to hide. In the tunnel sections enemy troops just stand still in the tunnels waiting for you even though they would have heard you shooting just down the corridor. The game is also distasteful, you can pick up ‘trophies’ from the enemy which amount to their ears. Yes that may have happened during the Vietnam war, but without some kind of reasoning behind it, it comes across as crass.

The comments your character makes are similarly bad, ‘that was for sarge’ and random diatribes describing his guilt for sleeping with a whore somewhere are intermingled with other nonsense trying to build up sympathy for his plight. The voice acting is just awful, it is one thing having lines repeat whenever you kill someone, but the way they are spoken made me wish I could turn it off, he will say one thing in an angry tone of voice, the next minute he is sounding scared as anything. It comes across badly.

I can’t find one redeeming feature in the game, everything is just bad. Rats walking into tunnel walks and disappearing, something which I can only assume is a river but looks more like an awful stew someone cooked. This is the worst game I have played by a long shot. It seems there’s a fundamental reason Uwe Boll can’t make films about games: he doesn’t know the first thing about a good game in the first place.

Avoid it, even if someone offers it to you for free don’t play it.